Okay, I love Hibiki/Dita pairings and Parfet/Duero is sweet, but come on, nothing beats Jura/Barnette...they're just so kawaii!! You know what I mean, the whole Jura's "Barnette-look-at-me-because-I'm-just-so-damn-cute-with-my-watery-puppy-eyes" deal....they're like the only pairing that isn't in denial! ^^;; Well, until the very very end, anyway.
In other words, yeah, shoujo-ai, I usually don't write it (usually? Hell, I've never written it!), but I feel that this time, I must. Even if you're not a believer in shoujo, give the fic a try. ^^ I noticed there aren't many (or any) in the fandom yet.
Genre: Humor/Angst/Romance (Okay, I know that sounds weird, but that's what it is)
You Make My Heart Break
Sweet thing, you make my heart break.
But I'll laugh, sing, smile it out,
if only just for your sake.
~FierySable...an ode to my hideousness at poetry...which I won't be trying again. XD
"Baaaarnetttt...."
The forlorn cry immediately had the green haired Dread pilot looking down from the hanger bay scaffoldings where a wide-eyed Jura stared up at her with teary emerald eyes. Her impossibly blonde hair, well and truly mussed, hung in long, tangled curls down her back and smears of black grease marred her face where she had rubbed her fingers against her cheek. In other words, she looked very much like a young angel that had accidentally lost her wings...a very unhappy angel, Barnette noticed.
She swung down from her precarious perch, neatly alighting in front of her Dread with careful grace, body poised for an instant like a dancer's, before she dropped to both feet. Instantly, Barnette was hit by a hundred eighteen pounds of moving, blonde lightning as Jura flung herself into her arms, squeezing her tightly around her waist until she could barely breathe.
"Argh...Jura--"
"Jura missed Barnette," Jura interrupted anxiously, her face a mask of ingenuity. With a petulant frown, Jura added, "You're always busy with something else, for the Boss or Gasco-san (Somewhere in the background, you hear Gasco yelling furiously "Gascogne." XD). You never talk to Jura anymore. Aren't I important?"
Barnette hugged her back, a reassuring smile softening the harsh planes of her face. Barnette did not smile much really; maybe a sardonic, half-smirk sometimes, but not a wide, heart-in-your-mouth smile like this. She usually had no reason to. But for Jura, there was always a reason. Because she would walk through fire for Jura. Because there was nothing more important to her than Jura. She opened her mouth to say so, even as her fingers moved to smooth away the anxious lines on the blonde's face.
"Barnette, you have yet to come in to the medical office for your physical checkup." A calm, masculine voice interrupted the reunion and Barnette looked up, startled. Duero stood at the entryway, his face a study of unruffled curiosity that he didn't even bother to hide. He quirked an eyebrow as if to say "what have we here?" but didn't bat an eyelash otherwise as he folded his arms across his chest impassively, a data chip held limply between his fingers.
"Ano...Duero-san." Barnette stammered. She felt her face heat up noticeably as she tightened her arms around Jura's shoulder's trying to string two cohesive words together that didn't sound too foolish. The best she could think up was 'this isn't what it looks like!' but who was she kidding? Of course it was! "Ummm...."
Jura had no such problem, as she draped herself around Duero, a sultry smile turning the angel into a sexy Siren, nothing like the little girl act that she had pulled in Barnette's arms.
Crack.
Ouch. What was that?
Crack.
Oh that. Well it was a familiar feeling; one that she had become used to anyway ever since Jura had gotten it in her mind that she wanted a baby 'the old fashioned way' with a male of the species. It didn't bothered her anymore. In fact, probably within a few months, it would only be a minor annoyance, one that she would hardly even notice when that pinprick of pain flared.
"...Did you find me a good, handsome man yet, Duero-san?"
Crick, crack, craaaack....
Ouch, ouch ouch....Yeah, right. Who was she kidding? She wouldn't get used to it, even if it took her a few years.
Barnette realized that her arms were still upheld to accommodate Jura's weight and feeling more than a little foolish, she dropped them at her side, trying not to instinctively rub the throbbing ache that beat just beneath her chest.
She watched quietly as Jura flirted obliviously with Duero, making what she probably thought were 'subtle' hints about procreation between male and female and trying it out first hand when they were all alone, but thank God, Duero was unfazed and from the looks of it, uninterested. What would have happened if he had actually shown interest in her Jura?
Oh God, that doesn't even bear thinking about it. I don't even want to know how I'd react. Take out my Dread and blast Duero's handsome self into the next galaxy or something? Maybe throw him into the Nexus for good measure.
Suddenly, she become conscious of Duero staring pointedly at her over Jura's head, a concerned expression on his face and she forced herself to smile, the usual combination of amused resignation and exasperation. There was a dose of 'Jura did it again, gomen nasai, I feel sorry for her victim', a smidgen of 'don't look for me for help; I don't know how to get her off', and just a pinch of 'does she really know what she's asking for??' in her expression, and, Barnette was sure, it was completely break-proof, fool-proof, and read-proof. It should be. In the last few months, she had had to perfect the façade until no one saw anything but what they were supposed to: amused indifference.
Because the Barnette everyone else knew, the Barnette with her sarcastic wit and I-don't-give-a-shit attitude, would never feel jealous over anything. Even Jura. Especially not Jura.
Duero was still looking at her with a faintly perturbed expression so Barnette shrugged, slinging her jacket carelessly over her shoulder as she walked towards them, eyes carefully blank of all emotion but superficial cheer.
"Ah Duero-san, gomen," She smiled at the tall doctor easily, just managing not to take his neck in her hands and ring the life out of him. Must not kill Duero, he saved Jura's life once. Must not kill Duero...he's on of our side...
Must get out of here before I kill Duero anyway.
"I'll come by for checkup later today, if that's alright with you. But I'm a little busy right now with repairs, ok? Well then, take care of Jura for me. Ja!" Before Duero could say anything, she slipped past him, boot heels clicking rapidly on the metal corridors as she struggled to control her stride, taking one long step at a time. It's all right, I'm fine, I am. Don't run, don't run, don't run...
"Duero-san, I want a boy first, ok?"
Barnette turned the corner and ran as fast as she could.
***
Duero entered the pilot's lounge, a thoughtful frown on his face as he sat down at his usual table, cradling a hot cup of caffeine in his hands. Something was wrong with Barnette. There was nothing really obvious that pointed to that conclusion; she was still witty, charming, and caustic. Nothing out of the ordinary...in front of other people, anyway. But there were those unguarded moments that very strange, un-Barnette-like emotions flitted through her face, and that worried him.
People should act as how they were supposed to act. It made things a lot more peaceful for a doctor when they did. Unfortunately, Barnette was not acting like Barnette, and it was his duty as a doctor and an innate meddler to figure out what was going on. That decided, he leaned back slightly in his chair, chin cupped in his hand as he considered his options. Now how to go about it...?
"Oi...Duero!" There was a heavy thump next to him and he glanced over warily as Hibiki slouched, or rather, sprawled, in front of his lunch, practically inhaling the miso soup in one breath before moving with the same voracious appetite over to the rice, tempura, and teriyaki. "What's up?"
"Hibiki. How well do you know Barnette-san?"
"Eh?" With a visible effort, Hibiki swallowed the large, half-masticated bolus of food before he glanced at the taller man with ever curious brown eyes. "What about her?"
Duero turned away, shaking his head slightly at his own foolishness. "Never mind. Why am I asking you? You wouldn't notice it."
Insulted, Hibiki leapt to his feet, thunderclouds gathering at his temples as he glared at Duero hotly. "What's that supposed to mean?" He demanded, "Are you saying that I'm stupid??"
"Men are stupid; that is the general rule," a new voice cut in calmly, and both men looked up as Maie and Dita slid into seats adjacent of them, trays of food balanced in their hands. Maie tipped her head to one side, staring coolly at the two males as she speared a piece of broccoli from her plate. "I thought that everyone knew that. Why do you want to know about Barnette, Duero-san?"
"Uchuji-san, try this," Dita chirped, ignoring the ongoing conversation. She spooned some sushi onto Hibiki's plate and with a grateful half-scowl tossed in her direction, he did just that, digging in with great gusto.
"S'great!" He muttered, causing Dita to blush in delight. Soon, the two were in their own world, as Dita urged Hibiki to try the bento box that she had prepared for him and Hibiki complied with greedy gluttony. However, the loud chattering on the other side of the table didn't deter Maie from continuing the subject at hand, and she raised a brow challengingly at Duero, tapping the prongs of her fork impatiently against the porcelain plate.
"Why are you so interested in Barnette?" She repeated, poking a little more viciously at her salad. Duero had the idea that if he didn't answer soon, he would be the next target of that well-aimed fork and that he would probably have to treat himself for deep puncture wounds when that happened.
"She has been acting strangely," Duero said thoughtfully, his eyes steadily looking into her pale azure ones. "Quiet, untalkative."
"Pretending nothing's wrong." Maie nodded sharply, putting the fork on the tray. "Jura has been complaining that Barnette's avoiding her, which is unusual in itself."
"Hn. Interesting."
"Something's wrong with Barnette?" Dita asked anxiously, just barely catching on to the tail end of the conversation. Her wide open blue eyes were guileless and fretful as she glanced first at Maie, then at Duero, and she started fidgeting with her napkin, twisting the edges into mangled shapes. "Leader, what happened? Can I help?"
"Ah...do you know why Barnette is acting strangely, Dita?" Maie glanced at Duero and shrugged. It was a long shot, but Dita surprised all of them on occasion with her intellectual remarks...even though she didn't know she had made them. Unfortunately, this was not one of those times.
"Mmmm.....uh uh." Dita shook her head, her pink bangs bobbing gaily, completely at odds with her worried expression. "Maybe-"
It was about that time that Jura decided to sidle between Hibiki and Duero, draping a slender arm around both of them and dragging them closer to her. "Hello..." She whispered, her lips pursing in an inviting pout, "Jura wants a baby soon. When are more men coming on board the Nirvana?"
Dita's eyes grew wide and she sputtered at Jura indignantly, but Maie merely sighed, taking another bite from her plate. "Never mind, I think we've isolated the problem."
"Hai."
***
Jura sat down on the couch, her lip pushed out in a becoming pout as Hibiki, Dita, Maie, and Duero sat around her, their expressions somber and stern...or at least Maie and Duero's were. Hibiki and Dita shared the same semi-bewildered look on their faces as if they only knew half the story but were determined to sit this one through no matter what.
Placing her hands on her lap, Jura, tipped her head to one side, causing her golden hair to drape to one side as she stared at them. "Nani? Why did you all drag me to my room? Why do you all looking so serious?"
"We needed to talk to you about something private. Jura..." Duero hesitated, searching for the right words but Maie was more blunt, coming straight to the point.
"How do you feel about Barnette?"
"Aaahhh!! Baarrnnett!! Jura loves her, of course! Watashi wa Barnette ski!" There were sparkling lights in Jura's eyes that much resembled stars and she sighed dreamily, hugging the pillow tightly to her chest. "Barnette is Jura's number one, definitely, definitely!"
Maie sighed quietly in relief; well, at least that was one load off her mind. "Good. That's very good to hear, Jura. Now, how do you feel about Duero?"
"Duero-san?" She loosened her deathgrip on the pillow, glancing curiously at the tall man. She smiled then, dimples showing at the corners of her mouth. "I want to have his baby, of course."
Not so good.
Maie controlled the urge to drop her jaw and stare at Jura in blank-faced horror as Hibiki was doing but contented herself with a sigh of resignation instead. Duero contemplated Jura with an objective stare, as if she were a specimen under his microscope to be studied, and finally murmured one word.
"Interesting."
"Interesting...? Interesting?? What are you saying, Duero?" Hibiki demanded heatedly, "Do you want this woman to have your baby??"
Jura smiled prettily up at him and before he could utter another word, pounced on top of Hibiki, toppling them both to the floor in a tangle of arms, legs, and flowing blonde hair. Ignoring his struggles, she pressing her abundant...ah ...attributes...against his chest, leaning down on him as she purred seductively, "Nani des ka? Do you want Jura to have your baby?" She frowned a little, a slight twitch of her lips, "I thought you said you didn't know how to make babies though."
"Ack...get...get off me! B...baka!! What do you think you're doing??!"
"Ehh....!! But Jura wants--"
CRASH....
All heads swiveled towards the door as a sudden impact of porcelain on metal exploded in the room, tiny shards skittering across the floor in muted, discordant chimes. Amidst the mess, chopsticks and rice tumbled forlornly from the broken bowl, the teriyaki chicken's sweet, pasty sauce making a brown puddle around everything.
"A...ano..."
Jura tipped her head up to stare in puzzlement at Barnette's frozen form, still sprawled on the floor with Hibiki half under her and trying desperately to breath as he clawed at the arms that were holding his windpipe hostage. That was the only sound in the room though, his wheezing gasps of air. Everything was so silent, so very silent, that later on, everyone swore that they could hear the tinkle of something else breaking, something that was not quiet the sound of broken chinaware and not quiet the sound of broken glass.
"Barnette...?"
Jura's hesitant query seemed to snap Barnette out of her shock and immediately, a bright, flattering smile was pasted to her lips with quick, unhesitating precision.
"Mou, mou, I'm such an idiot." Barnette laughed hollowly, staring down at the mess on the floor just outside Jura's room before crouching to briskly pick up the broken pieces, sweeping up the uneaten food with one efficient whisk of a napkin. "Here I think that Jura might be hungry and so I get her some lunch, but what do I do instead? Spill it! And break the china too....Boss will undoubtedly take me to task for this. Sa. All clean. I'll send up another bowl later, Jura, after I throw this away. Bye!"
"Barnette--!!" Untangling herself from Hibiki, Jura scrambled to her feet, throwing herself through the doorframe, but Barnette was already gone, running as fast as her long legs could take her. Swinging around desperately, she looked at everyone else, an expression of confusion on her face. "Minna...what just--"
"Jura..." Dita rose to her feet, the sparkle of laughter gone from her eyes as she looked soberly at the other woman, her trembling hands folded neatly in front of her. "Doesn't Jura understand yet?"
"W...what?"
Dita sighed, shaking her head softly before giving Jura a sad smile. "Barnette loves Jura, more than anything, ne? Always. Definitely. Dita sees this because it is the same thing that she feels for Uchuji-san. Dita chooses Uchuji-san forever...like Parfet chooses Duero forever."
Duero's brow rose at Dita's proclamation. "Really?" He was duly ignored. After all, the crew of the Nirvana could handle only so many love lives gone wrong at one particular time.
"And Barnette chooses Jura...forever too. But Jura...Jura hasn't chosen. Not really."
"But I love her too." Jura whispered, all pretense gone. She looked instead like a very bewildered, very hurt woman who had just had a rug pulled out from under her feet and didn't know how to get up from there.
"Yes, you say so." Maie agreed, so blandly that Jura's head came up in a flash, anger sparkling amidst the confusion in her eyes.
"I do." She insisted, her eyes narrowing into slits. "I love Barnette more than anything!" When no one replied to her claim, Jura clenched her hands, all trace of child or sultry woman gone from her face. The real Jura showed through now, upset with real tears sparkling on her eyelashes as she demanded, "What's wrong with you?! I love Barnette, I do! Why are you telling me I don't!?
An enigmatic half-smile appeared on Duero's face, despite the gravity of the situation. "I don't think she understands."
Maie shook her head slowly, bracing both elbows on her knees. "We are in agreement, for once." Rising to her feet, Maie shouldered Dita aside, grasping Jura's forearms with both hands. "Jura, listen to me."
"But--"
"Listen!" Startled by the unprecedented shout by her leader, Jura nodded meekly, sinking back down on the couch, even though her eyes never left Maie's face. Maie sighed, running her fingers through her hair tiredly before she turned around to stare down at the blonde Dread pilot. "Why does an Ouma ask a Fuma to become her partner and donate her egg cell?"
"Because...because they love each other." Jura replied firmly, lips pressed in a thin line. "Like I love Barnette."
"Fine. What happens with a Fuma and an Ouma decide to get pregnant?"
"They have a baby. Like Ezra and Rebecca and Karu-chan."
"So a couple wants a child. They have a child. Is that all?"
"Well..." Jura hesitated, chewing on her lip, "well no. The baby is cared for--"
"By who?" Duero queried gently, earning a haughty look from Jura. She tossed her hair over her shoulder, obviously dismissing the question as irrelevant.
"By the Ouma and the Fuma, of course! Only a man would ask such a stupid question!"
"By the parents of the baby." Maie stressed firmly. "The parents. The Ouma and the Fuma, or in your case, you and the male you want to have the baby with. Does it make sense now? You want a male to give you a child in the truly old fashioned way, but that would technically make the male a Fuma to your Ouma. Where does that leave Barnette in your plans, Jura? Or have you thought of that?"
Jura blanched white. "I--"
Maie nodded soberly. "Now you understand. What happens to Barnette when you have your child and your man?"
***
Barnette slowed to a stumbling walk halfway to the kitchen, her shoulders half bent around the sack of broken crockery and spilt food as she panted for breath, willing air to flow back into her lungs. Her mouth was wet and salty with her own tears and she leaned against the wall, trying to bolster her spirits with the touch of cold steel against her cheek.
"Baka," She whispered hoarsely, not knowing whether she was talking about a certain green eyed, blonde hair pilot, or whether that expulsion of bitterness was directed at herself. Drawing a steadier breath, she rubbed away the traces of her tears with the back of her hand before slipping into the kitchen, looking cautiously around for anyone else. When she found the room deserted, she sighed quietly with relief, not wanting the others to see her in such a disgusting condition.
Crying all over the place, running away from Jura...there's not much of my reputation left then, is there? She paused. Why do I even care? With a listless shrug, she set about tossing the porcelain into the trashcan, dropping them one piece at a time into the garbage chute. The metal teeth of the disposer unit shattered each piece of clay with a vigorous crunch, easily grinding the broken bowl into little motes of gray powder.
It's funny, this disposal crushes things to bits, that's what it's designed to do, so it has no free will. But Jura does...and she still chooses to do this to me; not only breaking my heart, but she must grind it into dust too. Or maybe I'm the one that doing this to myself. If only I didn't care so much, it might be bearable. Maybe.
She absently fed the last few slivers into the trash but one slipped, cutting her across her index finger. She cursed, yanking her hand away, but before she could jam her finger into her mouth to take away the sting, a hand reached out to take her finger and stuck it into their mouth.
"Wha--?" She swiveled her head around, startled to see solemn emerald eyes gleaming back at her in the dark. "Jura...??"
Barnette flushed a dark shade of red as Jura took the injured finger out of her lipsticked mouth and looked at it critically from all angles before tying it up with a small wrap of cloth. Then she tossed her hair and handed Barnette back her limp hand with a triumphant smile.
"Sa. Good as new."
"A...arigato...." Barnette snatched her hand back with a blush, holding it cradled protectively against her chest. Gathering her wits about her, she turned back to grab a new bowl from the cupboards, ladling it full of rice. "You should have waited, Jura. I was going to come right back with the food."
"Mmm...really?" Jura went to stand beside her, tipping her head to one side so that she could see the profile of Barnette's face behind the skein of short hair. "But Jura wanted to see Barnette now."
"Ah, there is not much to see. It's too dark." Barnette replied, quickly spinning away to simultaneously slip out a pair of chopsticks and hide her face from Jura's knowing look. "Lunch is almost finished now, so--"
Slender fingers brushed back her hair, hesitated, then tipped up her chin until Barnette was forced to look Jura in the eye. The other hand came up, gently tracing the slight puffiness under her eyes and the crow's feet that crinkled the edge of her eyelid with tension. "Barnette looks so much better when she is smiling at me. When Barnette looks like this, Jura wants to cry too, ne? And that will leave wrinkles and my makeup will run."
Barnette shook her head mutely, a lump in her throat not permitting her to speak. She felt herself being drawn into Jura's arms, very carefully; as if the other woman wasn't sure how much Barnette would welcome this embrace. Her own arms crept around Jura's waist and with something that could have been a sob, she buried her head into Jura's shoulder, her body trembling with each new sob, even though they were all silent.
"Gomen, Barnette. Gomen nasai, ne?" Jura's voice was gentle, oddly hoarse. "I'm sorry. I didn't think about you. I hurt you...a lot."
"Iie. You didn't. I'm fine." Barnette replied automatically, but she didn't lift her head from Jura's shirt, which was quickly growing damp with tears. Jura didn't even bother to tell Barnette that she lied; they both knew it anyway so it would just be a waste of time, stating the obvious. Instead, they just held each other until the tears came with less force and they didn't need to cling with quite so much force.
After a while, when Barnette's breathing became more normal, Jura asked quietly, "Do you forgive me?"
"Ah."
"Yes?"
"Yeah."
"Good. Because I have a question."
"And what's that?"
Petulantly, Jura frowned up at Barnette, her eyes watery. "I want a baby."
~*Owari*~
Watashi wa Barnette ski - I think this is how you write, "I love Barnette most of all" or something like that. If not, gomen for the bad subbing...*sweatdrop*