PSA 1: 829IAA
A message from your friends at Red vs. Blue and Vandread
Church: Hi, I'm Private Leonard Church from the popular web-series, Red vs. Blue.
Hibiki: And I'm Hibiki Tokai from the anime, Vandread.
Grif: Do we have to introduce ourselves? Everybody knows who we are.
Church: Because we won't get paid by our bosses if we don't.
Grif: (under breath) Our bosses suck.
Church: Anyways, you all have seen us together in the crossover story, Red vs. Blue: The Spartan Pirates.
Hibiki: And you all are wondering why the story hasn't been updated since April.
Church: As it turns out, the author of the story is being ripped off by the little man.
Grif: That's r- w-wait, what?
Church: The author, drew829, just found out that a group of pirates grab their damn hands on the story and started posting it on different web sites. Here's a picture of the assholes.
*A picture of the female members of the Nirvana appears next to Church.*
Hibiki: What? They didn't do it!
Donut: Yes they did. I saw them do it!
Grif: Where did you come from?
*A graph charting book sales appears next to Church, and it looks uninspiring*
Church: As you can see, the book sales for the story have dropped severely in the past three months. This is clearly the results of pirates taking it and uploading it, along with millions of people downloading it with out paying a cent.
Grif: Or maybe it's because the author can't sell books because of copyright laws.
Donut: Don't dis the graft Grif. You'll get in trouble.
Church: It's unfortunate, but to protect ourselves and the author from the catastrophic consequences of this global publicity machine known as the internet, we are now forced to take action. Sarge.
Sarge: Hereto forthwith, starting next week, FreeWebs.com/TheSpartanPirates, hereafter referred to as "us," will begin suing every person to have ever visited the drew829 fanfictions website, FanFiction.Net, and the Vandread Library site, hereafter referred to as "you dirty scumbags!" We expect an average judgment of a hundred fifty-nine million dollars per case. Vow this day in to the grounds of ergo post proctor hoctor, vis-a-vis telemundo.
Church: Keep in mind, this is not an attempt to make money, but rather a way for the creator of the Spartan Pirates to protect themselves, and the literally dozens of fans that he have, all over the world.
Grif: A hundred fifty-nine million dollars? You guys are idiots.
Sarge: Ipso, fatso. May it please the court; I have prepared a second graph to address Grif's argument.
*A graph appears next to Sarge labeled "My Foot, Grif's Ass." It looks inspiring*
Hibiki: Why is Sarge our legal council?
Church: Because he has his finger on the pulse of the American Legal System. He went to Stenographer's School.
Sarge: Objection! It was Nursing Assistant's School.
Church: Ah, close enough. Listen, we don't have to prove anything. They're the ones that are stealing stuff.
Grif: But it's online, for free.
Church: Right! This is why we're suing them!
Grif: But drew put it on there! He put the chapters online, for free, to promote the book.
Church: Exactly, this is why we're suing you as well.
Grif: That's it, I'm going to talk to the captain about your bull****.
Church: Look, I know most of our readers probably don't have a hundred fifty-nine million dollars. So we're willing to settle out of court. You can either send us everyone in your family's personal information, like social security numbers, drivers license numbers, birthdates, stuff like that. Or, you can just find your mom's purse, and send it directly to us. If you're not sure what it looks like, here's a picture of Donut's purse.
*A picture of a purse appears next to Church. Everyone looks at Donut*
Donut: What? I need a place to keep my lotions.